Getting Off

A medication, that is. It’s no fun- I’m not going to lie. It took four days with no sleep to realize that I might be experiencing some withdrawal. The shaking was a secondary sign. My rate of talking went from fast to the speed of light.

It’s a personal decision- and against all advice, I’m doing it without the oversight of my doctor. Not because I’m a sneaky person- I KNOW that her help would be invaluable. But I’ve asked to go off the medication in the past and she’s resisted it. And, I have no insurance, so I can’t really afford to keep going to her to talk about it. So I’ve been tapering off slowly, and monitoring my behavior, as well as telling my roommates and friends to warn me if my behavior becomes abnormal- or more abnormal than usual.

The medication is an anti-psychotic. I was put on another anti-psychotic originally, Zyprexa. I gained 30 pounds in a month, and another 30-40 over the next four months. Over the course of this my previous doctor reacted to the weight gain by putting me on a migraine medication that has the side effect of appetite loss. Gee, thanks. I was hoping to take more pills. He also put me on a blood pressure medication to reduce tremors that were another side effect. Pretty soon, at age 24, I was taking up to eight medications a day.

I got a new doctor, and reduced my medications (mostly at my insistence). It’s time to taper off one more. Because while the new anti-psychotic is less likely to cause weight gain, it’s still causing weight gain- and losing it has been nearly impossible.

So I’m going off the new anti-psychotic. I’ve been on it for a couple years. It’s never really affected me much. My miracle drug has always been my anti-convulsant/mood stabilizer. It would be nice, at age 28, to only take a couple medications, and be able to fit a vitamin into my pillbox.